The New Model Of Selling: Selling To An Unsellable Generation

The New Model of Selling

In a world where buyers are more skeptical, informed, and resistant than ever before, The New Model of Selling offers a radical rethinking of traditional sales strategies. Co-authored by Jerry Acuff, a seasoned sales consultant and CEO of Delta Point, and Jeremy Miner, founder of 7th Level and a pioneer in behavioral-based sales methods, this book proposes a neuroscience-informed, customer-centric approach to sales that can revolutionize how professionals engage, persuade, and build trust with modern buyers.

At its core, the book argues that outdated sales tactics—relying on hard closes, enthusiasm, and product pushing—are ineffective in today’s trust-deficient, hyper-informed world. Instead, Acuff and Miner propose a human-centered sales process that aligns with how people naturally make decisions. It emphasizes trust-building, self-persuasion, emotional resonance, and structured dialogue over pressure and performance.

Relevance to Leadership, Entrepreneurship, and Self-Improvement

For leaders and entrepreneurs, selling is not just about transactions—it’s about influence, communication, and building lasting relationships. Whether you’re pitching to investors, coaching a team, or leading change, your ability to inspire action and commitment is critical.

The New Model of Selling equips readers with skills that transcend traditional selling. Its lessons apply directly to leadership, where persuasion without pressure and influence without manipulation are paramount. For entrepreneurs, the book provides a replicable sales framework that can scale, reduce rejection, and resonate with today’s consumer expectations. For self-improvement seekers, it encourages introspection, mindset shifts, and a more empathetic view of human interaction.

Main Ideas and Arguments

1. The Problem with Traditional Selling

The authors start by diagnosing the current sales crisis: modern buyers are overwhelmed with information, distrustful of salespeople, and resistant to outdated tactics. Salespeople, in turn, are taught antiquated methods—like hard closes, assumptive questions, or excessive enthusiasm—that trigger immediate resistance.

They argue that trust has eroded significantly in society and especially in sales. What worked decades ago no longer aligns with today’s buyer psychology. The problem is not motivation, leads, or enthusiasm—it’s a mismatch between sales behaviors and buyer expectations.

2. A New Definition of Selling

Instead of convincing or manipulating prospects, the authors redefine selling as the process of helping potential buyers persuade themselves. Selling is a dialogue, not a monologue; a discovery, not a pitch. The most effective salespeople act more like therapists or consultants than pitch artists.

This model leans on behavioral science, emotional intelligence, and structured conversations designed to lower resistance and elicit internal motivation from prospects.

3. The Power of Neuro-Emotional Persuasion

A key component is what Jeremy Miner calls Neuro-Emotional Persuasion Questions (NEPQ)—strategic, layered questions that engage the prospect’s critical thinking and emotional drivers. Instead of asking direct questions like “What’s your biggest challenge?”, NEPQ teaches sellers to ask in ways that expose problems the prospect may not even be aware of.

The approach uses voice tonality, active listening, and sequencing to build trust. The authors argue that people don’t buy on logic—they buy emotionally and justify with logic. Therefore, the sales process must reflect this psychological truth.

4. A Three-Stage Sales Process

The authors introduce a new three-part framework:

Engagement Stage – Where trust is built and resistance is lowered. The goal is not to sell but to understand the customer’s situation.
Transitional Stage – Where the seller helps the customer realize their problems are more significant than they initially thought and are worth solving.
Commitment Stage – Where the customer is emotionally and logically ready to commit. Here, the sale happens naturally as a result of self-persuasion.

This structure ensures a human-centric, low-pressure approach that makes sales feel natural rather than forced.

5. Eliminating Sales Resistance

Sales resistance is not inevitable—it’s created by salespeople who focus too much on themselves. The book details how to eliminate resistance by focusing entirely on the prospect’s experience, emotions, and point of view.

This shift involves shedding ego, detaching from outcomes, and prioritizing connection over closing. Sales professionals must act as trusted guides who help buyers arrive at their own conclusions.

Practical Lessons for Leaders and Entrepreneurs

1. Redefine the Purpose of Selling

Stop trying to “sell” and instead focus on helping your audience make informed decisions. Whether it’s a team you’re leading or a customer you’re serving, persuasion should come from trust and understanding, not pressure.

2. Develop Advanced Listening Skills

Success in sales and leadership alike hinges on listening more than talking. Learn to ask strategic questions that uncover hidden problems and encourage reflection. Active listening builds rapport, trust, and influence.

3. Build Trust Before Pitching

Never lead with your product or solution. Lead with curiosity, empathy, and relevance. Trust precedes persuasion. The moment you start pitching too early, you erode trust and create resistance.

4. Adapt to Buyer Psychology

Today’s consumers—whether internal stakeholders or paying customers—are educated, cautious, and empowered. Tailor your communication to how people actually make decisions: emotionally first, logically second.

5. Implement a Repeatable System

Use the three-stage model (Engagement, Transition, Commitment) to structure conversations in a way that’s scalable and consistent across teams or ventures. This creates predictability in outcomes and performance.

6. Eliminate Objections by Preventing Them

Most objections are caused by the way the conversation is framed, not by the product itself. Use NEPQ to preempt concerns and guide buyers to clarity before they raise resistance.

7. Stop Being the Hero—Be the Guide

Don’t make yourself the center of the sales story. Your customer is the hero—you are the guide who helps them succeed. This shift in mindset transforms how people respond to you and your message.

The New Model of Selling isn’t just a sales book—it’s a playbook for anyone in the business of influence. It repositions selling as a collaborative, empathetic process grounded in psychology and human behavior. For leaders, entrepreneurs, and anyone aspiring to grow in their craft, the book offers a powerful alternative to the outdated, adversarial sales methods that dominate the past. By embracing a more human approach, readers will not only increase results—they’ll change how people feel about being sold to. And that might be the most powerful transformation of all.

1. The Biggest Problem in Sales

In Chapter 1 of The New Model of Selling, titled “The Biggest Problem in Sales”, authors Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner shine a spotlight on the often-misdiagnosed root causes of poor sales performance. Contrary to common belief, the issue isn’t a lack of enthusiasm, weak leads, or insufficient product knowledge. The real problem is deeper—and more personal. It lies in the outdated, seller-focused methods still being taught and practiced, despite radical shifts in buyer behavior, technology, and trust.

The authors argue that the traditional sales model is incompatible with today’s customer expectations. Sales professionals are using methods that once worked in a completely different environment—one where buyers lacked information and relied on salespeople to educate them. Today’s buyers are skeptical, informed, overwhelmed with data, and often think they know more than the salesperson, thanks to what the authors jokingly call “Google U.”

The Sales Disconnect

Acuff and Miner explain that modern buyers don’t want to be sold to—they want to be understood. They are wary of salespeople who push products, speak in rehearsed scripts, or launch into presentations without understanding the buyer’s unique situation. Salespeople who focus too much on themselves, their product, or their pitch unknowingly trigger a wall of resistance.

The key insight: The biggest problem in sales is the problem you don’t know you have. If you can’t identify the issue, you can’t fix it. The authors compare outdated sales techniques to trying to stream a TikTok video on a Sony Walkman—it’s just not going to work. The sales environment has changed, and it requires a complete rethink of how we connect with and influence customers.

Key Examples from the Chapter

One powerful illustration involves the mismatch between old-school selling techniques and today’s expectations. The authors describe how common tactics like assumptive closes (“Do you want the red one or the blue one?”) or relentless follow-ups cause prospects to shut down. These techniques might have worked when customers lacked information, but now, they come across as pushy and manipulative.

The book references tired phrases like “It’s a numbers game” or “Always be closing” as relics of a bygone era. For example, they note that many salespeople still chase after as many “nos” as possible to get a “yes,” without realizing that better skills—not more calls—would improve results faster and more effectively.

They also reference outdated models like AIDA (Attention, Interest, Desire, Action), originally designed when salespeople were the only bridge between companies and consumers. Today, information is at buyers’ fingertips, and pushing features no longer creates value.

The Seven Hidden Problems with Traditional Selling

Inconsistent definitions of selling. Without a unified understanding, salespeople act based on conflicting beliefs, leading to scattered results.
Outdated sales models. From 1884 scripts to 1970s boiler room techniques, most modern sales training is based on obsolete frameworks.
Pressure-based tactics fail. High-pressure techniques trigger resistance, not compliance. Buyers today want choices, not coercion.
Needs-based selling is insufficient. Buyers don’t always want to solve their problems—even if they need to. Selling to “needs” alone doesn’t compel action.
Modern buyers are different. They are cautious, skeptical, and empowered with information. They see through manipulative sales techniques immediately.
Old methods trigger resistance. Aggressive closing, scripted dialogue, and assumption-based selling all cause prospects to put up walls.
Trust is at an all-time low. The “post-trust” era has made it more difficult for salespeople to be seen as credible. Building trust is no longer optional—it’s essential.

Action Steps to Implement the Learnings

1. Redefine What Selling Means

Instead of thinking about sales as convincing or closing, shift your mindset. Selling should be defined as helping your prospect identify problems they didn’t know they had and guiding them to solve those problems themselves. Internalize this new definition to guide all your conversations and behaviors.

2. Identify and Replace Outdated Habits

Make a list of the traditional sales tactics you currently use. Do you assume the sale? Do you lead with your pitch? Do you rely on scripted objections handling? Begin phasing these out and replacing them with customer-led dialogues that prioritize discovery and emotional connection.

3. Learn to Disarm Sales Resistance

The moment a prospect senses you’re trying to sell them, their guard goes up. Practice beginning conversations with curiosity rather than intent to close. Avoid leading with benefits or features. Start with questions that show interest in their world and challenges.

4. Study Buyer Psychology

Acknowledge that people buy based on emotion and justify with logic. Learn to identify emotional triggers during conversations. Ask yourself: “What does this person really want that they’re not saying?” Focus on uncovering motivations rather than pitching solutions.

5. Build Real Trust Early

Trust isn’t built by saying “trust me.” It’s built by showing you understand them better than your competitors do. Listen more than you speak. Use your voice tonality and pacing to reflect sincerity. Avoid exaggeration, and show empathy instead of eagerness.

6. Drop the Numbers Game Mentality

Stop measuring your effectiveness by the number of calls or presentations. Instead, measure the quality of your conversations. How many prospects opened up to you emotionally? How many felt heard and valued? Those are the metrics that matter in the new model.

7. Create Self-Awareness and Feedback Loops

Record and review your sales conversations. Notice where you lose engagement or get resistance. Be honest about whether your questions are designed to uncover or to persuade. Make this reflection a weekly practice to track improvement.

Chapter 1 of The New Model of Selling invites readers to confront their blind spots and embrace a new way of thinking. The authors emphasize that it’s not just about fixing broken techniques—it’s about recognizing that many techniques were broken from the start. This chapter serves as a powerful wake-up call: unless we identify the real problem in sales—the one hidden in plain sight—we will continue to run harder in the wrong direction.

To succeed in today’s market, sales professionals must evolve beyond old-school hustle and embrace a thoughtful, buyer-aligned process rooted in psychology, empathy, and trust. Only then can we stop chasing prospects—and start attracting them.

2. Sales Myths vs. Sales Realities

In Chapter 2 of The New Model of Selling, Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner expose a collection of widespread but harmful myths that continue to undermine sales success in the modern world. These myths are so deeply embedded in sales culture that many professionals accept them without question. However, as the authors argue, these so-called “truths” are outdated, ineffective, and based on assumptions that no longer align with buyer psychology.

This chapter is a clarion call to salespeople: unlearn what you’ve been taught. Just as reality television distorts what’s real, traditional sales techniques often warp the way selling should actually work in today’s environment. If you’re still using tired tactics from the 1980s or blindly following mantras like “Always Be Closing,” you’re not just behind—you’re probably losing sales you could be winning.

Why Myths Are Dangerous in Sales

The chapter opens with a quote from JFK: “The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie…but the myth—persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.” Myths are seductive because they’re repeated, familiar, and comforting. But they also keep salespeople locked in patterns that produce rejection, pressure, and buyer resistance. The authors argue that to succeed, professionals must challenge and discard these myths and embrace a model grounded in human behavior, neuroscience, and trust.

The Six Myths That Undermine Sales Success

1. Selling Is a Numbers Game

The first and most pervasive myth is that success in sales is all about volume. Make more calls, send more emails, knock on more doors—eventually you’ll get a “yes.” While there may be truth in persistence, this mindset leads to burnout and low conversion rates. The authors suggest that instead of chasing quantity, sales professionals must focus on quality. They should ask deeper questions, create more trust, and engage prospects emotionally rather than mechanically.

For example, they describe the old approach of making hundreds of cold calls in a day. This “grind and hustle” mentality is inefficient because the majority of those contacts are not emotionally engaged. Instead, salespeople should learn how to become magnetic through trust, relevance, and connection.

2. Rejection Is Just Part of Sales

This myth tells sellers to accept rejection as normal. But Acuff and Miner challenge this belief. What if most rejection isn’t natural at all, but rather caused by how you’re communicating? The authors explain that certain words, tones, or question structures can unconsciously trigger resistance. If you learn to remove these triggers, rejection dramatically decreases.

They use the example of sellers who panic before a sales call or procrastinate on outreach. This anxiety often comes from knowing you’re about to say things that cause resistance. By changing your communication style, you can minimize rejection and increase comfort—for both you and the buyer.

3. You Must Be Enthusiastic

Enthusiasm is often mistaken for persuasion. But excessive energy can overwhelm or repel buyers. When sellers lead with too much excitement, buyers either shut down or become suspicious. They may feel manipulated or believe the salesperson is desperate to close the deal. Enthusiasm doesn’t replace emotional connection or trust.

The authors compare this to a situation where someone shows you a funny meme and expects you to laugh—but you don’t get the joke. What excites the seller may not excite the buyer, and pretending otherwise creates friction.

4. The Sale Is Lost at the End

Another harmful belief is that if a sale doesn’t close in the final stage, something went wrong during the close. The authors argue the opposite: the sale is actually lost at the beginning. If you don’t build trust and emotional engagement early on, no amount of persuasion at the end will work. Starting with a product pitch or a scripted opener instantly triggers resistance.

They provide an example of a typical cold call: “Hi, my name is John. I’m with XYZ company…” Immediately, the buyer knows they’re being sold to. A better approach is to open with curiosity and questions, not a pitch.

5. Assuming the Sale Works

Assumptive selling is another relic of old-school thinking. Sales trainers often teach reps to act as though the sale is inevitable, asking closing questions like “Whose name should the contract be in?” This strategy often backfires because it creates pressure and signals a lack of concern for the buyer’s readiness. Buyers resist being cornered. When they sense assumption, they feel manipulated and push back.

Instead of assuming, the authors recommend guiding prospects through a journey of discovery. Let them come to the conclusion themselves, rather than forcing it on them.

6. Always Be Closing (ABC)

Made famous by movies like Glengarry Glen Ross, this catchphrase symbolizes an aggressive, pressure-based approach to sales. But according to the authors, the new ABC is not “Always Be Closing,” but “Always Be Disarming.” Rather than pushing for the sale, sellers should seek to reduce resistance, ask better questions, and create a collaborative dialogue.

They break down various traditional closing techniques—like the choice close, optional close, and assumptive close—and explain how each one can lead to buyer skepticism. In contrast, disarming the buyer and creating emotional safety leads to more honest conversations and higher conversions.

Action Steps to Apply Chapter 2’s Lessons

1. Audit Your Sales Conversations

Start by recording and reviewing your recent sales calls. Look for language that assumes, pressures, or pushes the buyer. Identify moments where you lead with product features or over-the-top enthusiasm. Note how buyers respond—do they lean in, or shut down?

2. Replace Scripts with Real Questions

Instead of memorized scripts, learn to ask thoughtful, layered questions that reveal the buyer’s real motivations. These questions should encourage prospects to reflect, not react. Practice active listening and adjust your questions based on what you hear, not what you want to say next.

3. Practice Neutral, Curious Tonality

If your tone is overly enthusiastic or pushy, buyers will instinctively resist. Practice speaking in a calm, curious tone that reflects empathy and openness. This change alone can dramatically lower buyer resistance.

4. Focus on the Beginning of the Conversation

The most critical moment in a sales call is the first 30 seconds. Instead of leading with a product pitch, start by establishing trust. Use questions that show you understand their world and that you’re not just another salesperson trying to make a quota.

5. Stop Trying to “Close”—Start Guiding

Let go of the need to “close” the sale. Instead, focus on guiding the prospect to clarity. Help them understand their situation better. If they reach a decision on their own, the sale becomes a natural conclusion—not a forced event.

6. Create Your Own “Sales Reality”

Reject the myths. Build your own belief system around what works with real buyers in real conversations. As you master these new approaches, you’ll see fewer objections, less resistance, and more genuine interest.

Chapter 2 challenges you to think differently—to trade in seductive sales myths for a grounded, psychology-based approach that actually works. Acuff and Miner don’t just tell you what’s wrong with traditional methods—they show you how to shift your thinking and behavior to sell in a way that’s honest, human, and highly effective.

The takeaway is clear: in today’s world, sales success doesn’t come from closing harder. It comes from understanding better, listening more, and helping people arrive at the right decision on their own terms. The sooner you abandon the myths, the sooner you’ll start seeing results.

3. Unlocking the Gatekeeper

In Chapter 3 of The New Model of Selling, titled “Unlocking the Gatekeeper,” authors Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner tackle one of the most persistent challenges in sales—getting past the gatekeeper. Whether you’re in B2B or B2C, you’re likely to encounter a person whose job is to screen calls, block access, or filter out solicitations before they ever reach the decision-maker. This chapter breaks down why traditional methods fail to navigate this obstacle and offers a more strategic, psychologically aligned approach to gaining access.

The authors argue that most salespeople see gatekeepers as adversaries—obstacles to overcome through manipulation, persistence, or trickery. But that mindset triggers resistance and almost always leads to failure. Instead, they suggest flipping the script: treat the gatekeeper not as a roadblock but as an ally. When approached with respect and empathy, gatekeepers can become valuable connectors rather than walls to scale.

The Gatekeeper’s Role

The gatekeeper—often a receptionist, executive assistant, or lower-level manager—is not just a human firewall. They are also a trusted advisor to the person you’re trying to reach. The authors stress that gatekeepers aren’t trying to ruin your day; they are protecting their boss’s time and priorities. When you act like every other salesperson who calls, using predictable language and pushing for access, the gatekeeper’s defense mechanisms are automatically activated.

For example, if you start a call by saying, “I need to speak to Mr. Thompson about a very important matter,” you sound evasive and self-serving. The gatekeeper has heard it before. This common approach is a red flag and signals that your priority is your pitch—not the person behind the gate.

Instead, the authors recommend shifting the goal. Don’t try to get through the gatekeeper—connect with the gatekeeper.

What Doesn’t Work

The book outlines specific phrases and behaviors that instantly sabotage your chances of getting past a gatekeeper. These include:

Sounding like a salesperson by using terms like “I’m calling to introduce our services” or “I’d like to schedule a meeting.”
Asking for decision-makers by name with no context.
Acting impatient or pushy when asked qualifying questions.

When you sound like everyone else, you are treated like everyone else—filtered out.

What Does Work

To succeed with gatekeepers, you need to be different in tone, intent, and content. According to the authors, one of the most effective strategies is disarming honesty. Rather than trying to impress or manipulate, be transparent. Let the gatekeeper know you understand their role and acknowledge that you’re likely calling at an inconvenient time. This humility disarms suspicion and opens space for a real conversation.

For instance, saying something like, “Hi, I know I’m probably catching you in the middle of something, and I’m likely just another salesperson calling,” immediately lowers resistance. It shows self-awareness and respects the gatekeeper’s time. It also positions you as someone who doesn’t sound like the hundred other pushy callers they’ve screened that day.

Another key strategy is to avoid making the conversation about you. Keep the focus on the value you might offer to the company or executive, not the features of your product or service. Speak in terms of relevance to their business challenges rather than your credentials.

Action Steps to Unlock the Gatekeeper

1. Shift Your Mindset

Start by rethinking your relationship with gatekeepers. They are not enemies or obstacles. They are professionals doing an important job—and you need their help. Your tone, words, and intent must reflect this mindset.

2. Avoid Sales Language

Eliminate cliché phrases from your vocabulary. Never say “I’m calling to introduce myself” or “I just need 15 minutes of your time.” These are red flags. Instead, use language that positions you as curious, thoughtful, and respectful. Practice saying, “I know this might sound like another sales call, but I promise I’ll keep it brief and relevant.”

3. Disarm with Empathy

Acknowledge that your call may be an interruption. Start conversations by recognizing the gatekeeper’s position: “I imagine you get a lot of these calls, and I don’t want to waste your time.” This kind of disarming honesty builds trust and opens dialogue.

4. Engage in a Natural Tone

Match your tone to that of a casual, respectful conversation. Avoid sounding rehearsed, overly enthusiastic, or desperate. Use a calm, confident, and sincere voice that shows you’re human and not just trying to “get past” someone.

5. Ask for Guidance, Not Access

Instead of demanding to speak to the decision-maker, ask for advice. Try saying, “I was hoping you might be able to point me in the right direction.” This appeals to the gatekeeper’s desire to be helpful and positions them as a collaborator rather than an obstacle.

6. Be Specific and Relevant

If you know the company’s pain points or industry challenges, mention them briefly in a non-pitchy way. For example: “I’ve worked with a few others in [industry] who were running into [problem], and I wondered if that’s something your team is focused on too.” This invites curiosity without making it about a sale.

7. Practice and Refine

Record a few of your gatekeeper interactions. Listen for signs of resistance, tone shifts, or abrupt responses. Improve your phrasing and timing. Over time, you’ll develop a natural rhythm that earns trust faster and gets you referred rather than rejected.

“Unlocking the Gatekeeper” is not about breaking down doors—it’s about building bridges. Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner make it clear that when you treat gatekeepers as partners rather than obstacles, the entire dynamic shifts. You no longer have to manipulate your way in; you get invited in because you’ve earned respect.

The real secret to getting past gatekeepers isn’t in tricks or tactics. It’s in approaching people with authenticity, empathy, and relevance. When you show that you’re different from every other salesperson who’s ever called, you stop being screened out—and start being welcomed in.

4. Getting Customer-Focused

In Chapter 4 of The New Model of Selling, titled “Getting Customer-Focused,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner reveal a truth that many in the sales world misunderstand: most salespeople are not truly customer-focused. While they may believe they are serving the customer by delivering pitches, showcasing features, and offering solutions, they are actually operating with a seller-focused mindset. The chapter explains that real customer focus means shifting the entire conversation to revolve around the prospect’s world, not the salesperson’s product or agenda.

The authors argue that one of the greatest misunderstandings in sales is the idea that talking about a product or service equates to helping the customer. But in reality, this approach often creates resistance, because the customer isn’t emotionally engaged or mentally prepared to receive a solution. Without understanding the prospect’s internal world—what they’re thinking, feeling, and experiencing—salespeople are effectively guessing.

Why Most Sellers Aren’t Truly Customer-Focused

Acuff and Miner explain that most salespeople fall into the trap of talking at the customer rather than with them. They get excited about what they’re offering and focus on “solutions” before understanding the real problem. This creates a dynamic where the salesperson becomes the center of the interaction, leaving the prospect disengaged or even defensive.

The authors give an example of salespeople jumping into presentations or feature dumps the moment a prospect expresses a small amount of interest. Rather than taking the time to understand the buyer’s challenges, they default to what they were taught—highlighting benefits, overcoming objections, and “handling” resistance. In doing so, they overlook the most crucial part of the sales process: learning how the customer thinks and what problems they’re truly trying to solve.

What It Really Means to Be Customer-Focused

Being customer-focused is not about being friendly, enthusiastic, or knowledgeable about your product. It’s about developing a deep understanding of how your customer thinks and what’s motivating their behavior. This includes uncovering:

The specific problems they’re facing
The impact those problems have on their business or life
The emotional drivers behind their decisions
Their current thought patterns and assumptions

True customer focus means being more committed to solving the right problem than simply closing a sale. The salesperson’s job is to guide the prospect through their own discovery—helping them identify issues they weren’t aware of and emotionally connect with the urgency to solve them.

Common Mistakes That Undermine Customer Focus

The authors warn against several common sales behaviors that appear customer-focused but are actually self-serving:

Talking about your company or credentials too early in the conversation
Asking scripted “discovery” questions that don’t uncover emotional truths
Assuming you understand the customer’s situation based on limited information
Using enthusiasm as a substitute for genuine curiosity

One particularly powerful insight is that salespeople often believe that being excited about their product will transfer excitement to the buyer. But unless that excitement is tied to the buyer’s specific situation and problems, it feels forced—and can trigger resistance rather than trust.

Action Steps to Become Truly Customer-Focused

1. Shift the Focus from You to Them

Start every sales conversation with the intention of understanding, not persuading. Avoid talking about your product, your company, or your background until the prospect has clearly outlined their challenges and goals. Make it your mission to learn how they think and feel before introducing any solutions.

2. Practice Emotional Listening

Pay attention not only to what prospects say, but how they say it. Look for signs of emotion—frustration, fear, anxiety, ambition—and respond with empathy. Reflect back what you’re hearing to validate their feelings and create trust. This makes people feel heard and lowers their resistance to deeper conversation.

3. Ask Self-Persuasion Questions

Instead of asking surface-level questions like “What’s your budget?” or “What’s your timeline?”, use questions that encourage the prospect to reflect on their situation. For example: “How long has that been a challenge for you?” or “What happens if that doesn’t get solved in the next six months?” These questions lead prospects to discover the value of change on their own.

4. Delay Talking About Your Product

Hold off on sharing your solution until the prospect clearly sees the gap between where they are and where they want to be. When you jump into solutions too early, you rob the prospect of the emotional journey that leads to commitment. Let their awareness and urgency develop first.

5. Watch for Signals of Readiness

Look for cues that the prospect is emotionally engaged—such as longer answers, pauses, or thoughtful questions. These signals indicate that they are reflecting, not just responding. When they begin to open up about deeper challenges, you’ll know they’re ready to hear how you can help.

6. Customize Your Presentation Based on Their Words

When it’s time to present your solution, use the exact language the prospect used during the conversation. This reinforces that you’ve listened, understood, and tailored your message to their world. It also makes the solution feel like a natural fit, not a pre-packaged pitch.

“Getting Customer-Focused” is about more than flipping a mental switch. It’s about rebuilding your entire approach to sales around empathy, curiosity, and discovery. Acuff and Miner urge readers to stop seeing prospects as sales targets and start seeing them as complex human beings trying to make the right decisions for their business or life.

In a noisy world where most sellers are still focused on themselves, becoming truly customer-focused is your greatest competitive advantage. When prospects feel like you understand them better than anyone else, they begin to trust you—and that trust leads to more meaningful conversations, stronger relationships, and better results.

5. Using the Power of Your Voice

In Chapter 5 of The New Model of Selling, titled “Using the Power of Your Voice,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner explore a frequently overlooked yet profoundly impactful element of sales communication: voice tonality. According to the authors, what you say matters—but how you say it can matter even more. The tone, pace, and volume of your voice signal confidence, sincerity, curiosity, and trustworthiness—or, if misused, can provoke doubt, resistance, or even defensiveness.

This chapter argues that your voice is not simply a delivery mechanism for information. It’s a tool of persuasion, capable of creating connection or conflict, engagement or avoidance. In sales, where building trust and lowering resistance is critical, mastering voice control is not optional. It’s essential.

Why Tonality Matters

The authors reference neuroscience and behavioral psychology to explain that human beings are hardwired to interpret voice tone quickly and instinctively. People often make snap judgments about others within the first few seconds of hearing them speak. If your tone comes across as too eager, overly confident, or robotic, it immediately signals to the brain: salesperson = threat. That’s when resistance kicks in.

The right voice tone, on the other hand, disarms resistance. It fosters emotional safety, which encourages prospects to open up and share. Miner and Acuff highlight how a calm, curious, and conversational tone can build instant credibility, while an aggressive or overly enthusiastic tone can destroy it.

For example, the authors describe a typical scenario where a salesperson launches into a call with an upbeat and rehearsed pitch. Even if the content is relevant, the prospect’s brain perceives it as a sales pitch—and the walls go up. By contrast, a salesperson who opens with a slow-paced, low-toned, and disarming question creates a dramatically different reaction. The prospect leans in, listens, and feels safe engaging.

Key Voice Qualities That Drive Sales Success

Acuff and Miner emphasize that it’s not about using just one tone throughout a conversation. Skilled salespeople vary their tonality strategically based on the moment and message. The chapter outlines three key tonal patterns that consistently produce strong results:

Curiosity Tone – This is used when asking questions. It’s soft, slow, and inquisitive. It helps prospects feel like you’re exploring their situation with genuine interest rather than interrogating or leading them into a trap.
Skeptical/Concerned Tone – This tone is used to subtly challenge the prospect’s current thinking. It’s slightly hesitant and reflective, suggesting that you’re thinking out loud rather than lecturing.
Confidence Tone – Reserved for statements about your expertise or your ability to help. It should be calm, clear, and firm—but never arrogant or aggressive.

The authors are clear: voice control is a learnable skill. Like musicians or actors, top salespeople practice their tone and delivery deliberately. They don’t leave it to chance.

Action Steps to Master the Power of Your Voice

1. Record and Review Your Conversations

Begin by recording your sales calls or practice conversations. Listen back not to what you said—but how you said it. Pay attention to your tone, speed, and volume. Are you rushing? Do you sound too excited? Too scripted? Identifying your natural voice tendencies is the first step to improvement.

2. Practice the Curiosity Tone

Rehearse asking discovery questions using a softer, slower, and more reflective voice. For instance, instead of saying, “What are some challenges you’re facing?” in a neutral or rushed tone, try it again with an inflection that suggests you’re genuinely interested. Lower your voice slightly and slow down your pace. This creates emotional safety and encourages deeper responses.

3. Use the Concerned/Skeptical Tone to Challenge Gently

When you want to challenge a prospect’s current way of thinking, do it with humility and subtlety. Use a thoughtful, almost uncertain tone as if you’re processing the idea in real-time. For example, say, “I’m just curious… do you feel like that current process is really serving your team the way it could?” This prevents defensiveness and keeps the conversation collaborative.

4. Anchor Your Expertise with the Confidence Tone

When it’s time to communicate the value of your solution or your credibility, use a grounded, steady voice. Avoid sounding boastful. Say things like, “This is something we’ve helped many companies in your space solve,” in a tone that conveys calm certainty—not bravado. This helps prospects feel reassured, not pressured.

5. Pause and Breathe Between Sentences

One of the fastest ways to improve your tonality is to slow down. Most salespeople speak too quickly, especially when nervous. Practice adding intentional pauses between key sentences or questions. This gives your listener time to process and keeps your delivery controlled and impactful.

6. Match and Mirror (Without Mimicking)

While you should maintain your own voice style, it’s helpful to slightly adjust your tone and pace to match your prospect’s. If they speak slowly and thoughtfully, do the same. If they are fast-paced and energetic, increase your energy slightly. This helps build unconscious rapport and comfort.

7. Rehearse Like an Actor, Not a Robot

Read your sales questions and messages aloud and experiment with different tones. Treat it like a performance. You’re not memorizing lines—you’re practicing emotional delivery. Record yourself and listen back. Make adjustments until your tone feels authentic and effective.

Chapter 5 teaches that the voice is not merely a conveyor of words—it is a vehicle of emotion, trust, and persuasion. Acuff and Miner make it clear that sales success doesn’t only come from asking the right questions or delivering the right pitch. It also comes from delivering your message in a way that feels safe, human, and trustworthy.

The power of your voice is often the difference between a prospect leaning in with interest or shutting down with resistance. If you want to improve your sales performance today—without changing a single script—start by changing your tone. Sales is not just a science. It’s also a sound. Master it, and you master the moment.

6. Listen and Learn

In Chapter 6 of The New Model of Selling, titled “Listen and Learn,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner delve into a core principle that separates top-performing sales professionals from average ones: the ability to listen deeply and learn intentionally. While most sellers believe they are good listeners, this chapter reveals that many are merely waiting for their turn to speak. They hear words but miss meaning, emotion, and opportunity. True listening, as outlined in this chapter, is not passive—it is strategic, empathetic, and purposeful.

The authors argue that listening is not a soft skill—it is a high-income skill. Salespeople who master it can uncover emotional drivers, identify hidden objections, and build trust faster. Listening is the only way to truly understand how the buyer thinks, what they value, and what they fear. And when you understand those things, you can lead them to the right solution—without pressure or persuasion.

Listening Is Learning—Not Waiting

Acuff and Miner highlight the difference between hearing to respond and listening to understand. Too often, salespeople listen for cues to insert their pitch rather than cues to uncover the prospect’s reality. They are mentally rehearsing their next statement rather than absorbing what the prospect is actually saying.

The authors explain that great sales conversations feel natural and organic, not mechanical. This only happens when the seller is fully present and willing to follow the customer’s train of thought—even when it veers off script. Listening is how you discover the real reason the customer may buy—or not.

For example, a salesperson may ask, “What challenges are you facing right now?” and then immediately follow up with, “Let me show you how we solve that.” In doing so, they miss the opportunity to explore the full depth of the challenge. A better approach is to listen longer, ask follow-up questions, and encourage the prospect to elaborate. This not only reveals more useful information but shows the prospect that you genuinely care.

The Four Levels of Listening

The book introduces four levels of listening, each representing a deeper degree of presence and effectiveness in a sales conversation:

Level 1: Ignoring – You’re distracted or multitasking. You’re not really present.
Level 2: Pretend Listening – You nod and smile, but your mind is elsewhere.
Level 3: Selective Listening – You only latch onto things that seem relevant to your agenda.
Level 4: Empathic Listening – You listen to understand how the other person thinks and feels, without judgment or agenda.

Level 4 is the goal. It is where trust is built and self-persuasion is made possible. The authors emphasize that the only way to get a prospect to truly open up is to listen in a way that makes them feel safe, understood, and valued.

Examples That Illustrate Listening in Action

One vivid example involves a seller who jumps into product details the moment the prospect says, “We’re having issues with productivity.” Instead of asking what’s causing those issues, how long they’ve been happening, or how it’s affecting the team, the seller starts pitching features. The prospect feels unheard and disengages.

By contrast, another seller responds to the same issue with a tone of curiosity: “Can you walk me through what you mean by ‘issues with productivity’? What does that look like day to day?” This not only invites a richer response but also positions the seller as a trusted advisor—not a product pusher.

Action Steps to Strengthen Your Listening Skills

1. Clear the Mental Clutter

Before each call or meeting, take a moment to clear distractions and mentally commit to being present. Turn off notifications and eliminate multitasking. The more focused you are, the more cues you’ll pick up during the conversation.

2. Pause Before You Respond

Train yourself to wait two or three seconds before responding after the prospect finishes speaking. This pause shows thoughtfulness and gives the other person a chance to add more. It also helps you absorb what was said rather than rushing into your next point.

3. Echo Key Phrases

Repeat or rephrase important things the prospect says. For example, if they mention, “We’ve had turnover problems for a while,” you could respond, “Turnover has been a challenge for a while—what do you think is behind that?” This technique shows active listening and invites deeper discussion.

4. Ask Layered Follow-Up Questions

Don’t stop at surface answers. If a prospect shares a problem, ask a second and third follow-up to uncover the emotional or financial impact. For example, “How does that affect your team’s morale?” or “What happens if this doesn’t improve in the next quarter?”

5. Practice Empathic Listening Daily

In your daily conversations—with clients, colleagues, or even family—practice level 4 listening. Give people your full attention. Ask clarifying questions. Validate their perspective. These habits will make you a better listener in every aspect of your life, including sales.

6. Record and Reflect

Listen to recordings of your sales calls and note how much time you speak versus how much the customer speaks. Are you talking too much? Are you interrupting? Are you jumping to conclusions? Use these insights to adjust and improve.

In Chapter 6, Acuff and Miner remind us that the best salespeople are not the best talkers—they are the best listeners. Listening is how you earn trust, uncover needs, and guide the buyer toward a decision they feel confident about. It’s how you move from being seen as a seller to being experienced as a partner.

When you listen to learn—not just to respond—you position yourself as someone worth engaging with. And in a world full of noise, that quiet power may be your greatest sales advantage.

7. Sequence of Questions

In Chapter 7 of The New Model of Selling, titled “Sequence of Questions,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner introduce one of the most critical shifts in modern sales strategy: the order in which questions are asked can make or break a sales conversation. It’s not just about asking the right questions—it’s about asking them in the right sequence, with the right tone and intention. This approach transforms the conversation from an interrogation or a product demo into a collaborative discovery that leads the buyer to sell themselves on change.

The authors make it clear that most salespeople ask questions out of order, too quickly, or too forcefully. As a result, buyers resist or give surface-level answers, which leads to shallow engagement and lost opportunities. The chapter outlines how to guide buyers through a journey of emotional and logical discovery by designing a structured conversation flow that makes them feel safe, heard, and understood.

Why Question Sequencing Matters

Miner and Acuff explain that every buyer is on a mental journey. If you jump ahead in the process—asking about budget, decision-makers, or trying to close—you trigger resistance. Buyers need time and space to process their current situation, the consequences of staying the same, and the benefits of change. The sales professional’s job is not to push but to guide them through that process.

They illustrate this with an analogy: it’s like asking someone to marry you on the first date. Even if you have great qualities, it’s the wrong time. Buyers don’t resist solutions—they resist being rushed. Sequencing questions correctly respects the buyer’s pace and psychology, helping them arrive at conclusions on their own.

The NEPQ Framework: Guiding the Buyer’s Thought Process

The chapter introduces Jeremy Miner’s NEPQ method—Neuro-Emotional Persuasion Questioning—which breaks the sales conversation into a strategic series of steps. The idea is to help prospects persuade themselves by gradually becoming aware of their problems, their emotional impact, and their desire for a solution.

The NEPQ sequence is designed to move buyers through three mental stages:

Current State Awareness – Understanding where they are now.
Problem Awareness – Recognizing what’s not working and why.
Future State Desire – Envisioning what they want and how life could improve.

Rather than confronting objections or pitching benefits, the seller uses carefully designed questions to unlock the buyer’s own logic and emotion. This allows for deeper honesty, trust, and ultimately, conversion.

Examples of Sequencing in Action

The book contrasts two different sales calls. In the first, the seller jumps into product questions: “Are you the decision-maker?” “What’s your budget?” “Would this solution fit into your goals for Q4?” These logical, transactional questions come too early and make the buyer defensive.

In the second example, the seller follows the NEPQ framework and opens with a soft, emotionally neutral tone: “Can you walk me through what your current process looks like?” Then they move into deeper layers: “How long has that been an issue?” and “How is that impacting your team?” By the time they get to discussing solutions, the buyer is emotionally engaged and asking for more information.

Action Steps to Implement Question Sequencing

1. Master the Three Phases of Buyer Thinking

Before your next sales call, map out your questions using the three NEPQ stages. Begin with questions that explore the current state: “Can you tell me how you’re currently handling X?” Then move into problem awareness: “What challenges have you noticed with that approach?” and finally, explore the future state: “Ideally, what would you like to see happen instead?”

2. Start with Emotionally Safe Questions

Open with neutral, non-threatening questions that allow the prospect to talk about facts, not feelings. Avoid diving into pain points too early. Let the buyer warm up by describing their world in their own words before you ask them to evaluate it.

3. Layer Questions to Build Depth

After a surface-level answer, follow up with a second or third question. For example, if they say, “Turnover has been a challenge,” you might ask, “Why do you think that’s happening?” or “How is that affecting your leadership team?” Each layer builds emotional connection and insight.

4. Practice Tonality as Part of Questioning

Use a tone that matches the intent of your question. Curiosity and empathy should be present throughout. Don’t ask serious or emotional questions with a cheerful tone. Instead, slow down, lower your voice slightly, and signal sincerity.

5. Avoid Skipping Steps

Even if you think you know the problem or the solution, don’t rush the conversation. Let the buyer arrive there themselves. If you jump ahead, you lose the power of self-persuasion and turn the conversation into a pitch.

6. Customize Your Sequence to Each Buyer

Use a consistent framework but personalize the questions to the buyer’s industry, role, and known challenges. This shows respect and preparation. It also helps you stand out from generic salespeople who rely on canned scripts.

7. Debrief After Each Conversation

After each sales call, review your question sequence. Where did the conversation flow well? Where did the buyer open up—or shut down? Adjust your sequencing and follow-up questions based on real reactions to continuously improve.

Chapter 7 offers one of the most practical and powerful shifts in the entire book: when you sequence your questions strategically, you stop trying to sell and start helping buyers discover their own reasons to change. Acuff and Miner make it clear that persuasion is not about pressure—it’s about process.

When your questions are ordered in a way that mirrors the buyer’s internal journey, trust is built, resistance drops, and conversations become collaborative. Buyers stop feeling sold and start feeling understood. And in that environment, closing becomes the natural next step—not the final hurdle.

8. To Sell or Not to Sell, That Is the Question

In Chapter 8 of The New Model of Selling, titled “To Sell or Not to Sell, That Is the Question,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner present a pivotal insight that challenges conventional sales thinking: sometimes, not selling is the most strategic move you can make. This chapter encourages sales professionals to reframe their role—not as persuaders or closers, but as facilitators of decision-making. The essence of great selling, the authors argue, lies in the ability to help prospects come to their own conclusions, even if that conclusion is not to buy.

The chapter opens by stating that the best salespeople are neutral in the outcome—not desperate for a yes, and not fearful of a no. This neutrality empowers the salesperson to stay focused on understanding the prospect’s world, asking the right questions, and allowing the buyer to determine what’s best for them. The paradox? By letting go of the need to sell, sellers often become more persuasive.

Detachment Is the Superpower

Acuff and Miner introduce the concept of “detached selling”—a mindset in which the seller is not emotionally invested in the outcome. This doesn’t mean they’re apathetic; it means they’re focused on service rather than control. Detached selling prevents salespeople from coming across as pushy, overly eager, or manipulative—all of which trigger resistance.

They offer an example of a salesperson who begins a call by saying, “I’m not even sure what we offer would be the right fit for you. Would it be okay if I asked a few questions to learn more about your situation?” This kind of disarming honesty puts prospects at ease because it lowers the perceived risk of being “sold to.” It also builds trust, because the seller is signaling that their priority is understanding, not closing.

The Pressure Paradox

The chapter outlines a key psychological truth: the more pressure a buyer feels, the less likely they are to buy. When people feel like they’re being pushed, they instinctively retreat. The authors compare this to a romantic relationship: if someone tries to force commitment too early, the other person pulls away—not because the match is bad, but because the pressure feels wrong.

In sales, this pressure often shows up through tone, urgency, assumptive language, or “closing techniques.” Buyers sense when a salesperson is chasing a commission rather than exploring a fit. The solution, according to Acuff and Miner, is to replace pressure with perspective. Help buyers evaluate, not agree.

The Power of Permission-Based Selling

Another powerful tactic introduced in this chapter is permission-based dialogue. Rather than steamrolling into questions or pitches, the seller asks for permission to engage. This gives the prospect a sense of control and shows respect for their time and authority.

For example, instead of saying, “Let me show you how we can help,” a seller might ask, “Would it be okay if I asked a few questions to understand more about your goals?” This subtle shift dramatically lowers resistance. It feels conversational rather than confrontational, and it positions the seller as a partner rather than a persuader.

Action Steps to Apply the “Non-Selling” Approach

1. Embrace Outcome Neutrality

Before each conversation, remind yourself that your job is to explore—not convince. Whether the buyer says yes or no, your goal is to help them gain clarity. Detach from the outcome so you can fully focus on listening and learning. This mindset shift will immediately affect your tone, pace, and presence.

2. Disarm with Transparency

Use opening lines that create psychological safety. Try phrases like, “I’m not sure if what we do would be relevant for you—it might or might not be. Would it be okay if I asked a few questions to see if it even makes sense to keep talking?” This lowers buyer suspicion and creates space for open dialogue.

3. Use Permission-Based Language

Whenever you shift the conversation—from discovery to solution, or from problem to pricing—ask for the prospect’s permission. Say, “Would it be okay if we explored that a little further?” or “Is now a good time to go into more detail?” This builds trust and keeps the buyer feeling in control.

4. Look for Emotional Readiness, Not Logical Agreement

Just because a buyer needs what you sell doesn’t mean they’re ready to commit. Pay attention to emotional cues—like hesitation, reflection, or discomfort—as signals that more exploration is needed. Don’t push for the sale; instead, invite further discussion.

5. Replace Assumptions with Curiosity

Avoid language that assumes the buyer will move forward. Replace statements like “When you implement this…” with “If you were to move forward, how would that impact your team?” This signals humility and helps prospects imagine the outcome without feeling coerced.

6. Reframe Your Role

Stop seeing yourself as a seller and start seeing yourself as a decision coach. Your job is to help prospects weigh their current state against a potential better future. Sometimes that means moving forward—and sometimes it means walking away with mutual respect.

7. Practice Detachment in Everyday Sales Scenarios

Try applying outcome-neutral language in low-stakes interactions. For example, when a prospect seems unsure, say, “It’s completely okay if it’s not a fit—my role is just to help you evaluate.” Over time, this kind of dialogue becomes natural and powerful.

Chapter 8 is a turning point in The New Model of Selling. It teaches that true sales mastery lies in the ability to let go of the need to sell. When you stop chasing the sale and start guiding the decision, buyers feel empowered, not pressured. They lean in, not pull away.

By focusing on the buyer’s decision process—not your quota—you become a trusted advisor. And in a marketplace full of pushy tactics and product pitches, that kind of trust is rare. It’s also what turns “maybe” into “yes”—not because you sold them, but because they sold themselves.

9. The Engagement Stage

In Chapter 9 of The New Model of Selling, titled “The Engagement Stage,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner begin to break down the three distinct stages of the modern sales conversation—starting with what they call the Engagement Stage. This initial phase is where the battle for attention, trust, and openness is either won or lost. It determines whether a prospect leans in and engages or shuts down and tunes out.

The chapter emphasizes that in the first few minutes of a sales conversation, prospects are subconsciously asking themselves one critical question: “Do I feel safe in this conversation?” If the answer is no—because the seller sounds pushy, rehearsed, or self-interested—the conversation stalls before it ever really begins. But if the answer is yes, the door opens to meaningful dialogue.

The Engagement Stage, therefore, is not about presenting products or even identifying needs. It’s about lowering resistance, disarming skepticism, and creating emotional safety so the buyer will be willing to open up and share.

The Real Purpose of Engagement

Acuff and Miner stress that most salespeople think they’re engaging when they’re actually triggering resistance. Typical openings like “How are you doing today?” or “The reason I’m calling is to tell you about…” instantly mark the conversation as a sales pitch, causing the prospect to brace themselves or mentally check out.

Instead, true engagement happens when the salesperson sounds different from everyone else—curious, calm, neutral, and respectful. It’s not about being energetic or enthusiastic. It’s about creating a space where the buyer feels they’re speaking to a real person, not a script.

For example, the authors suggest beginning with something like, “I’m not sure if this will be relevant to you or not, but I was hoping you could help me understand a bit more about…” This kind of statement is disarming, because it signals no pressure and sets the tone for a two-way conversation.

The Role of First Impressions

The chapter highlights that first impressions are not just about what’s said, but how it’s said. The tone of voice, pace of speech, and choice of language all influence whether a buyer feels safe or suspicious. A soft, neutral, and curious tone communicates that the seller is not there to push but to explore. This changes the energy of the conversation and often leads to longer, more open responses from the buyer.

The authors cite examples of real sales calls where changing just the opener led to dramatically different outcomes. In one instance, a rep who previously opened with a product-heavy pitch switched to a relaxed and permission-based opener. The same prospect who had brushed off the first call ended up staying on the line, sharing detailed context, and eventually requesting more information.

Action Steps to Master the Engagement Stage

1. Ditch the Typical Opener

Avoid predictable, salesy openings like “Hi, I’m calling from [company] and wanted to tell you about…” Instead, open with neutral curiosity. Try: “I’m not sure if this is something you’d even be open to looking at, but would it be okay if I asked a few questions to better understand your current situation?”

2. Practice a Calm and Curious Tone

Your tone communicates more than your words. Slow down. Lower your voice slightly. Avoid sounding overly excited or scripted. Aim to sound like a thoughtful peer—not someone trying to win a contest.

3. Get Permission to Engage

Always ask for permission before diving into questions or discussions. Say things like, “Would it be okay if I asked you something about how you currently handle [topic]?” This lowers psychological defenses and makes the buyer feel respected.

4. Avoid Talking About Yourself

In the Engagement Stage, do not mention your company, product, or achievements. The goal is not to pitch, but to create a safe space for the buyer to speak. Let the spotlight remain fully on them.

5. Signal That You’re Different

Use language that subtly communicates you’re not like the others. Phrases like “I know you probably get a lot of these kinds of calls,” or “This might not be relevant, and that’s okay,” show humility and stand out from aggressive sales intros.

6. Observe Buyer Reactions

Pay close attention to how buyers respond. Do they sound rushed, hesitant, or guarded? If so, back off and re-engage with a softer tone or a neutral question. If they sound curious or relaxed, you’re likely on the right path.

7. Rehearse and Refine

Practice your opener aloud until it sounds natural. Record yourself and listen back. Would you want to keep talking to this person? Refine your tone and language until it feels human and sincere.

Chapter 9 underscores a foundational truth: engagement is not about grabbing attention—it’s about earning trust. The Engagement Stage is where resistance begins to melt away, and it happens not through clever tactics or flashy pitches, but through empathy, authenticity, and permission-based dialogue.

Acuff and Miner remind us that buyers are human beings with past experiences—many of them unpleasant—with salespeople. Your job in this first phase is to be different, not by being louder or faster, but by being quieter, more thoughtful, and more curious. When buyers feel emotionally safe, they speak more honestly. And when they speak honestly, the path to a solution becomes clear—often without needing to sell at all.

10. The Transitional Stage

In Chapter 10 of The New Model of Selling, titled “The Transitional Stage,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner build upon the foundations laid in the Engagement Stage and introduce the second critical phase of the sales process. This phase is where the real substance of the conversation takes shape—the point at which the salesperson shifts from establishing trust to guiding the prospect to internalize their problems, limitations, and the costs of inaction.

The Transitional Stage is not about pitching solutions or pushing for decisions. It’s about creating a moment of reflection for the buyer. The authors emphasize that people only buy when they feel the cost of staying the same is greater than the cost of change. In this stage, the salesperson’s job is to help the prospect realize this on their own through carefully sequenced questions, neutral tonality, and non-threatening dialogue.

Why the Transitional Stage Matters

According to Acuff and Miner, the vast majority of sales fall apart not at the close, but in the middle—right here, in the Transitional Stage. When sellers rush through this phase or skip it altogether, they lose the emotional leverage that drives commitment. Buyers must first experience the pain of their current situation before they can fully desire a better one.

This stage is about shifting the prospect’s emotional state from “we’re doing okay” to “this is costing us more than we realized.” And crucially, the realization must come from the buyer themselves—not from the salesperson pointing it out.

From Problem Awareness to Consequence Awareness

The chapter outlines how the Transitional Stage builds upon the problem-awareness questions asked earlier. The seller now guides the prospect to consider how long the issue has existed, how it’s affecting different parts of the business, and what happens if it continues. These questions deepen the buyer’s emotional connection to the problem, often uncovering unspoken fears, frustrations, or ambitions.

For example, after a prospect admits that their team’s productivity has dropped, the seller might ask, “How long has that been going on?” followed by, “What kind of impact does that have on your ability to meet client deadlines?” and then, “What happens if that doesn’t improve over the next six months?”

By layering questions like this, the seller gently leads the buyer to self-diagnose and self-persuade, which is far more powerful than being told what’s wrong by someone else.

Examples of Transitional Stage Dialogue

The authors share examples of how a transitional conversation might unfold. In one case, a sales rep speaks with a business leader who admits to turnover issues. Rather than immediately pitching a hiring solution, the rep asks, “Do you feel that turnover is affecting your team’s morale or culture in any way?” This non-assumptive, open-ended question triggers reflection.

When the buyer responds emotionally—perhaps expressing frustration or concern—the seller follows with another gently probing question, such as, “What happens if the turnover continues at the current pace?” These questions are not manipulative; they are designed to help the buyer see the full weight of the problem.

Action Steps to Master the Transitional Stage

1. Deepen Problem Awareness

After identifying an initial challenge, go deeper. Ask, “How long has that been a challenge?” followed by, “What has that cost the business in terms of time, resources, or outcomes?” Help the buyer connect emotionally with the consequences of inaction.

2. Introduce Consequence Questions

Guide the buyer to explore the implications of doing nothing. Ask, “What happens if this continues for another 6 to 12 months?” and “How does this affect your team, customers, or long-term goals?” These questions create urgency without pressure.

3. Use Non-Threatening Language

Avoid making the buyer feel wrong or judged. Use phrases like, “I’m just curious…” or “Would it be okay if I asked…” This keeps the conversation neutral and safe, allowing the buyer to open up without defensiveness.

4. Focus on Their Words, Not Your Pitch

In this stage, the seller should speak far less than the buyer. Listen closely to how they describe their problems, emotions, and fears. Echo their language back when summarizing or clarifying. This builds rapport and deepens trust.

5. Maintain Curious and Concerned Tonality

Your tone should match the sensitivity of the questions. Use a reflective, slightly concerned voice when asking about consequences. Avoid sounding upbeat or excited—this would be mismatched with the emotional gravity of the moment.

6. Don’t Introduce Solutions Yet

No matter how clear the solution seems to you, do not pitch yet. The buyer is still emotionally processing their current state. Premature solutions short-circuit that process and trigger resistance. Let the discomfort settle before moving to the next phase.

7. Validate Their Concerns

When a prospect opens up about something painful or frustrating, validate it. Say, “That makes sense,” or “I can see why that would be concerning.” This strengthens trust and signals that you’re aligned with their perspective.

Final Thought

Chapter 10 reveals that the path to action is paved with emotional clarity. The Transitional Stage is where buyers confront the reality of their current situation and begin to feel the weight of staying the same. But they must arrive at this realization themselves.

Acuff and Miner show that when salespeople master the art of the Transitional Stage—asking layered questions, creating space for reflection, and maintaining emotional safety—they build momentum without pressure. The buyer leans forward, not because they’ve been sold, but because they’re now ready to explore change.

This chapter redefines what it means to be persuasive. It’s not about logic or charm—it’s about helping people see what they haven’t yet fully considered. And once they do, the desire for change becomes self-sustaining.

11. The Commitment Stage

In Chapter 11 of The New Model of Selling, titled “The Commitment Stage,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner present the third and final phase of the modern sales conversation: the point where the buyer is emotionally and logically ready to make a decision. Unlike traditional sales techniques that focus on aggressive closing tactics, this chapter emphasizes a subtle, buyer-driven process that prioritizes clarity, emotional readiness, and collaborative decision-making.

The authors argue that the old-school mindset of “always be closing” is outdated and counterproductive. Buyers today don’t want to be closed—they want to be understood. The Commitment Stage, when executed properly, doesn’t feel like a pitch or a negotiation. It feels like a natural conclusion to a conversation in which the buyer has discovered, articulated, and emotionally processed their problem and is now ready to act.

The Modern Commitment Conversation

Acuff and Miner explain that by the time you reach the Commitment Stage, most of the heavy lifting has already been done—if the Engagement and Transitional stages were executed properly. At this point, your job is not to convince the buyer to move forward, but to confirm whether they’re ready—and on what terms.

A key insight in this chapter is that buying is a change event, and human beings naturally resist change unless they believe that the benefits of changing outweigh the costs of staying the same. This means that commitment isn’t just about logic (e.g., pricing or features); it’s deeply emotional and must feel safe and self-driven.

The authors also stress that objections in this stage are not barriers—they are often requests for clarity. When a buyer raises a concern, it doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t interested. It usually means they don’t yet feel fully confident in moving forward. Your role is to guide them, not push them.

Examples of the Commitment Stage in Practice

One compelling example from the book describes a seller who avoids using assumptive closing language and instead asks, “Based on what we’ve discussed so far, do you feel like this would be something that could actually solve the issues we talked about?” This invites the buyer to reflect and respond honestly.

When the buyer expresses interest but hesitation, the seller doesn’t argue or re-pitch. Instead, they ask, “What would you need to feel comfortable moving forward?” This approach transforms the close into a dialogue, not a confrontation.

Another example highlights the use of collaborative language, such as “Would it make sense to take the next step together?” or “What would you need to see to feel 100% confident this is the right fit?” These soft but specific questions reduce pressure while maintaining forward momentum.

Action Steps to Execute the Commitment Stage

1. Review Buyer Readiness

Before entering the Commitment Stage, evaluate whether the buyer has emotionally connected with their problem and expressed desire for change. If they haven’t, revisit the Transitional Stage. Don’t attempt to close if the emotional foundation hasn’t been laid.

2. Ask Permission to Discuss the Next Step

Rather than launching into a closing pitch, ask the buyer if it would be okay to talk about possible next steps. This keeps the buyer in control and lowers resistance. Try something like, “Would it be okay if we explored what moving forward could look like?”

3. Use Confirmation-Based Questions

Help the buyer verbalize their interest and confidence. Ask, “From your perspective, does this feel like it would help solve the challenges we’ve discussed?” or “Do you feel this direction makes sense based on what you’re trying to achieve?”

4. Handle Concerns with Curiosity

When objections arise, stay calm and curious. Avoid defensiveness. Respond with questions like, “Can you help me understand what’s causing the hesitation?” or “What’s the main thing you’d need clarity on to feel more confident about moving forward?”

5. Avoid Assumptive or Manipulative Closes

Don’t pressure the buyer with statements like, “Let’s go ahead and get this started,” or “I’ll just send over the agreement.” Instead, invite them to decide. Ask, “What feels like the best next step for you from here?”

6. Clarify the Decision-Making Process

If the buyer says they need to think about it or speak with others, ask respectfully, “What steps do you typically follow when making a decision like this?” This gives you insight into timelines, stakeholders, and potential roadblocks—without applying pressure.

7. Set a Clear Follow-Up Plan

If a decision won’t happen immediately, agree on a follow-up plan. Don’t leave the call with vague next steps. Say, “Would it make sense to reconnect on [date] after you’ve had a chance to review everything?” This maintains momentum while honoring their process.

Chapter 11 brings the modern sales conversation full circle. In the Commitment Stage, the emphasis is not on “closing deals” but on facilitating confident decisions. Acuff and Miner show that when you prioritize the buyer’s emotional journey, stay neutral in tone, and lead with questions instead of pressure, the close becomes a natural byproduct—not a forced conclusion.

The Commitment Stage is where trust is solidified, and decisions are made from a place of clarity and confidence. When done right, there’s no need for gimmicks or closing tricks—because the buyer is not being convinced. They’re committing of their own free will. And that is the essence of ethical, high-impact selling.

12. Taking the Business Relationship to the Next Level

In Chapter 12 of The New Model of Selling, titled “Taking the Business Relationship to the Next Level,” Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner focus on what happens after the sale is made—a phase too often overlooked by sales professionals. While many sellers think the close is the finish line, this chapter reframes it as just the beginning of a long-term relationship. The authors emphasize that in a trust-starved economy, real sales mastery is demonstrated not just in winning customers, but in retaining them, growing them, and turning them into advocates.

This chapter is a call to evolve beyond transactional selling. Acuff and Miner argue that modern buyers crave trusted advisors, not just product vendors. Customers today want sales professionals who stay involved, continue to add value, and help them achieve long-term success. The sale, then, is not the destination—it’s the door to deeper engagement, influence, and growth.

The Role of the Sales Professional After the Sale

The authors challenge a common sales myth: that once a deal is closed, the salesperson should move on to the next lead. Instead, they suggest that post-sale is when your most meaningful work can begin. When you follow through with integrity and continue to help the buyer succeed, you cement trust and open doors to repeat business, referrals, and long-term partnerships.

For example, they describe a rep who, after closing a deal, schedules follow-up calls not just for onboarding, but to check in on how the solution is performing, gather feedback, and support optimization. This approach transforms the sales rep into a strategic partner. It also increases the lifetime value of the customer.

From Vendor to Trusted Advisor

Acuff and Miner make the case that trusted advisors are irreplaceable. They provide insights, challenge thinking, and offer help without expecting anything in return. Over time, this builds influence—and influence creates growth. The authors encourage sellers to view themselves as ongoing consultants, not one-time closers.

A powerful example from the book features a sales rep who, after delivering a solution, regularly sends articles, research, and industry news to their client. These resources are always personalized to the client’s needs and goals. As a result, the client sees the rep not just as a vendor, but as someone invested in their long-term success. That emotional equity pays off in renewals, upsells, and referrals.

The Trap of Complacency

The chapter warns against the trap of post-sale complacency. Too many salespeople disappear after the deal, only re-emerging when it’s time to renew or upsell. This creates distrust and weakens the relationship. Buyers feel used rather than served.

The authors stress that consistency is key. Buyers remember how you made them feel after the sale, not just before. Your post-sale behavior is often the difference between a one-time transaction and a long-term customer.

Action Steps to Take the Relationship to the Next Level

1. Redefine the Close as the Starting Line

Start thinking of the close not as the end, but as the beginning of a longer journey. Write down three ways you can continue to serve your buyer after the contract is signed. Schedule these follow-ups proactively as part of your post-sale process.

2. Set a 90-Day Success Plan

Within the first week of closing, collaborate with your client to create a 90-day success roadmap. This includes goals, milestones, and communication touchpoints. Make it clear that you’re committed to helping them achieve tangible results—not just deliver a product.

3. Schedule Value-Add Check-Ins

Plan regular check-in calls or meetings, not to upsell, but to listen and support. Ask questions like, “What’s going well so far?” and “Where can we improve?” These conversations show you care and give you a pulse on the client’s evolving needs.

4. Share Curated Insights

Stay on the lookout for industry trends, research, or tools that are relevant to your client. Send personalized notes or resources that help them stay ahead. Even a short email saying, “Thought this might be useful for your team,” can deepen trust and relevance.

5. Anticipate Future Challenges

As you get to know your customer better, identify potential future obstacles and start conversations early. Ask, “Have you thought about how [upcoming change] might affect your team?” This positions you as a proactive partner, not a reactive seller.

6. Ask for Feedback and Act on It

At regular intervals, ask your customer for candid feedback. Make it clear that you’re open to improving and committed to delivering value. When they share suggestions, respond with action—not defensiveness. This demonstrates integrity and reliability.

7. Earn the Right to Expand

When the time is right, and only after delivering value, ask permission to explore other ways you might help. Say, “Would it make sense to explore additional areas where we could support your goals?” By asking instead of assuming, you honor the relationship.

Chapter 12 closes The New Model of Selling with a powerful truth: your long-term success is built on the depth and durability of your relationships. Acuff and Miner redefine what it means to be a sales professional in the modern world—not someone who closes deals, but someone who opens relationships, earns trust, and creates lasting value.

Taking the relationship to the next level means treating your customer’s success as your own. When you do that, you move from being just another vendor to becoming truly indispensable. And in today’s trust-deficient marketplace, that is the new currency of influence.

Conclusion

In the final section of The New Model of Selling, titled “The End (but Really Just Your Beginning): New World, New Model, Who Dis?”, Jerry Acuff and Jeremy Miner close their powerful narrative by reinforcing one simple but transformative idea: this is not the end of your journey as a sales professional—it’s the starting point of a new way of being, thinking, and communicating in a completely changed world.

This concluding chapter is a blend of reflection, encouragement, and a final push toward real change. It is designed to remind readers that learning the new model of selling is not about adding a few new tactics—it’s about reengineering your identity as a communicator, persuader, and leader. The world of selling has changed permanently, and those who fail to adapt will find themselves increasingly irrelevant, while those who evolve will become irreplaceable.

A New Era Requires a New Model

Acuff and Miner summarize the fundamental premise that underpins the entire book: people do not want to be sold to—they want to be understood. They reiterate that buyers are more informed, skeptical, and guarded than ever before, and they are no longer influenced by high-pressure pitches, gimmicks, or outdated techniques.

In this new era, persuasion is not something you do to someone—it’s something you guide them through. The book’s framework—built on emotional connection, disarming tonality, thoughtful sequencing of questions, and genuine trust-building—is positioned not as a “hack,” but as a philosophy for human-centered communication.

One example highlighted in this section involves a seller who fully embraced the model after experiencing massive resistance with the old one. By switching to NEPQ-based questioning and removing pressure from the conversation, this salesperson began closing more deals—not because they tried harder, but because they created space for prospects to buy on their own terms.

The Danger of Sliding Back

The authors warn that one of the biggest risks after finishing this book is slipping back into old habits. They acknowledge that traditional sales approaches are deeply ingrained, reinforced by years of outdated training, coaching, and cultural norms. That’s why true mastery of the new model requires not just intellectual understanding, but consistent practice, reinforcement, and recalibration.

They also emphasize that the biggest threat to change is comfort. It’s easy to fall back on what feels familiar when stress, rejection, or deadlines mount. But the modern buyer will not respond to outdated tactics, no matter how comfortable they may be for the seller.

Sales as a Profession of Influence

The book ends on an uplifting note. Acuff and Miner reframe sales not as a transactional role, but as a noble profession of influence. In their view, ethical persuasion—done with empathy and insight—can change people’s lives, solve real problems, and create tremendous value. They encourage readers to see themselves as guides and leaders who can shape the future of how people connect, decide, and grow.

They write that becoming a master of this new model is about more than increasing your close rate. It’s about becoming the kind of communicator that people trust, listen to, and want to work with. That transformation will pay dividends not just in your sales numbers, but in your leadership, relationships, and reputation.

Action Steps to Live the New Model Daily

1. Revisit the Three Stages Weekly

Each week, take time to review how you’re applying the Engagement, Transitional, and Commitment stages. Ask yourself: Did I create emotional safety? Did I help the buyer reflect on consequences? Did I guide them to a confident decision? Use this self-assessment to continuously refine your conversations.

2. Create a Personal “Sales Journal”

Document what’s working and what isn’t after each sales conversation. Track which NEPQ questions led to breakthroughs and which areas triggered resistance. Over time, patterns will emerge that will help you adapt your approach with greater precision.

3. Practice Detachment in Every Conversation

Before each call, repeat this mantra: “My job is not to sell—it’s to help them decide.” This resets your mindset toward service, not pressure, and helps you stay grounded even when outcomes are uncertain.

4. Role-Play with Feedback

Regularly role-play different stages of the model with a colleague, coach, or mentor. Focus especially on tonality, question sequence, and responses to objections. Get honest feedback and make adjustments in real time.

5. Coach Others in the Model

One of the best ways to internalize a new approach is to teach it. Share your learnings with your team or peers. Explain the principles of the Engagement Stage or the power of emotional tonality. Teaching forces you to clarify and embody the model.

6. Re-Read Key Chapters Each Month

This book isn’t meant to be read once and shelved. Revisit a chapter each month—especially those tied to areas where you’re still developing. Let the insights become part of your muscle memory, not just your reading history.

7. Celebrate Small Wins, Not Just Closed Deals

Each time a prospect says, “That’s a good question,” or “I’ve never thought about it like that,” take it as a victory. These are signs that you are creating real influence. Celebrate these moments as proof that the new model is working—even before the deal is done.

This final section of The New Model of Selling is a powerful send-off. It reminds the reader that sales today is not about pressure, charisma, or clever techniques. It’s about being the kind of person people trust to help them think clearly and choose wisely.

The tools are in your hands. The scripts are in the pages. But the transformation will only happen if you apply what you’ve learned, reflect consistently, and stay committed to the long game of mastery. This is not the end. It’s the beginning of your evolution as a modern, ethical, and high-performing sales professional. The question is not whether you can do it. The question is: Will you?

The New Model of Selling: Selling to an Unsellable Generation

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